Search for significance…

I’ve been walking a long hard road for sometime now….. I’m not sure what I am after. Maybe I just want to be happy deep down, like everyone. For me it seems so allusive…..I mean, I’ve quit job after job…moved from state to state and back. I’ve done pretty much every type of art there is and now I am “Lloyd Rosen” the photographer….. and after a failed marriage….I am on another, what seems like an endless road.
Where does this happiness come from? Does anyone ever really find it? Hell I take photos of some of the most beautiful women….people say they love my work and I am traveling the country with a very beautiful girl….. it all seems good to most people……
Yet here I am….alone in my mind. I have no one that calls me, no one that honestly seems to give a Damn whether I am here or not. Now I know that isn’t entirely true…. there are a couple people that care deeply….and I do not take that for granted….
I feel very alone in the world and I know we aren’t supposed to ever show anyone our weakness,…..but I’ve never really cared too much for rules….
Maybe that’s why I am the over thinking eternal pessimistic optimist….. I know in the end ill be ok, but sometimes I guess I just need to spit it out. I think that is healthy for the soul.
Well for now, we sleep in the car. Shower at the rec.center and I continue my quest to become a famous photographer. I am very thankful for what I have. I wish I wasn’t so troubled, but one day at a time….. just wish I had more people to talk to, but because of the way I grew up… I never learned that skill. If you met me in person, you would never know I have a problem in the world….but unfortunately…. I do.
Well thanks for listening….. I really do think blue skies are coming my way…. I really do.

Lloyd Rosen
www.lloydrosenphotography.com
www.lstreetmag.com

Advertisement