Fear and Redemption…

It’s amazing how we see people on the outside and think they have so much or have accomplished so much, yet they themselves live in fear and doubt. Obviously both view points are accurate to some extent…..
Take me for example,… I have lived in fear my whole life. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of being a never was…..it is all mental and I see as clear as day the steps I need to take to overcome these issues,….yet because of broken thought patterns, I doubt myself and therefore don’t change. Being aware of what is broken is very important, then facing your fears head on despite your fear, and lastly knowing what you really want as your end game……
I am so thankful for every broken event and thought pattern in my life because it has made me who I am. And I have a great calling on my life.
For instance,…..I received an email from an architectural firm that saw my website on Friday… and was asked to quote a price to shoot several projects….in the end they are willing to pay over $7,000….obviously trying to decide where I am supposed to be right now and sleeping in the car…this is amazing. Well they want me to bring in my portfolio tomorrow…..yeah….I don’t have one. So I risked it all, went to Starbucks with my hard drives and made one. Costco printed 30 fantastic 11 x14s for me. They look amazing! Of course I don’t have that much money right now being in transition,…..but Adrian encouraged me and you know….. despite my irritation for working in horribly loud public spaces, plugging in 5 hard drives on a tiny table and sifting through thousand of images…..I faced my fear. Not to mention being on the road for months…I am unshaven…so we had to fix me up on the side of the road last night for the interview tomorrow. Some dude walked by….”looks great man”…. so like in the Pursuit of Happiness….I seriously doubt I would land an amazing deal like this, that would give us a place to live and start us back on to the road to recovery….but I tell people to never doubt themselves and to  go out and make a splash in the world…. I have to be the example I want to see in the world. No matter what fear or doubt tells me…. this is my life…I don’t get a different one unless I make it…. so here we go…bring it!!! Now I need to figure out where to shower…..
Life is crazy, but you have to enjoy the ride…believe that!

Lloyd Rosen
www.lloydrosenphotography.com
www.lstreetmag.com